It's a Heartbeat
by AonoRunic
Summary: "This day, the next, a hundred years is nothing. It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready. The only woman whose love you prized will be snatched from you." Loki wasn't saying those words just to hurt Thor. He knew from experience the pain of losing a mortal lover.
1. Prologue: The Story Eluded Until Now

Don't ever give me a history au prompt. I will be immediately distracted from everything else.

For this prompt: Okay, you know that scene in the movie where Loki argues with Thor about Jane not living that long and basically saying something to the effect of "It's never long enough!" It sounded to me like he was speaking from experience.

So, I want a fill where when he was younger, Loki had a relationship with a mortal. Like, he was head over heels, went down to Earth to live with them, stayed with them as they grew old kind of relationship (kids optional, but awesome).

Bonuses:  
+ Loki shape-shifted into a woman while on Earth  
+ his spouse dies from old age and Loki stays with them to the end  
+ Odin, Thor and Frigga all come down at one point trying to tell Loki to come home, but Loki refuses  
+ when he *does* come home, heartbroken, no one is Asgard is really aware how much he's hurting  
+ Loki starts with the 'puny mortals' attitude after as a way to cope

/

She is awake, despite what the brothers believe; Jane just isn't able to move right now. She can feel the Aether running through her veins. Her body has gone into overdrive trying to keep it from taking over completely, but it is taking all of Jane's energy. Right now, Jane would be happy if she could sleep for a year straight. Thor places his cloak over her shoulders, its warmth embracing her, and Jane almost does drift off then.

Loki's voice, however, snaps her back to awareness, her whole body on alert for danger. "What I could do with the power that flows through those veins." Yeah right, bub. Loki isn't going to get his hands on anything this powerful if Jane can stop him.

"It would consume you," Thor retaliates. Jane mentally smiles.

"She's holding up alright, for now."

"She's strong in ways you'd never even know." Jane really wishes she could hug Thor right now.

"Say goodbye."

"Not this day."

"This day, the next, a hundred years is nothing. It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready. The only woman whose love you prized will be snatched from you."

And now she wishes she could cover her ears. She's thought about it before, of course she has. During those two years Thor had been gone Jane had thought perhaps he hadn't come back because he couldn't face that they wouldn't have much time together. It hurt, it still hurts, and Jane really isn't sure if that pain will be worse than leaving him now, before she has to watch herself age while Thor remains the same. But right now they have to deal with Malekith, and she really doesn't need Loki bringing up this issue.

"And will that satisfy you?" Thor snaps at his brother.

"Satisfaction is not in my nature," Loki hisses back.

"Surrender not in mine."

"Do you think I speak of something I know nothing of?" Jane repeats the question in her head, but it still doesn't make sense.

"Loki," Thor breathes out, the anger draining from his voice.

"You have spent all of three days with her!" Loki's voice is a hostile whisper again, but there is something different about it, something almost genuine about the way it is breaking. "I spent a lifetime with Richard! I gave him children; our mingled blood still exists in the lines of royals to this day! You all tried to bring me home, told me what a foolish child I was. What makes you think your love for this mortal is purer than the love I had for mine?" By the time he finishes, Loki sounds like he may be crying. It is hard for Jane to imagine the man that tried to enslave humanity as capable of tears, yet that waver in his voice is hard to mistake.

"You were a child, Loki," Thor retorts. "What were we supposed to think?"

"I loved him!" Loki shouts back again. "I loved him, but when he was taken from me none of you cared! I ensured our children had a dynasty, and still you questioned my commitment to him."

"When you came back-"

"I was distraught! But you had already proven you thought so little of my choice, why would I confide in you?"

"Why must you twist everything?" Thor shouts back, more to be heard than out of anger. "I did not disapprove. I did not want you to be hurt." Something happens in the silence that hangs between them, something Jane isn't sure she'd understand even if she could open her eyes to see it. Thor whispers his brother's name as if he finally understands something that had long eluded him.

"Get off me, you oaf," Loki says after a long moment, but there is no bite in his voice.

They lapse into silence again after that. Jane knows there is a lot about the Æsir she does not know, but she is beginning to understand just how much that ignorance amounts to.

/

"Now we're trapped here."

Jane watches as Thor's shoulders slump. He had been so strong. After he had laid Loki's body out, Thor had taken a deep breath and forced himself to regain his composure. Jane could literally see him reminding himself that there was still a battle to be fought. But now there's nothing they can do, no way to get back to Earth, and the grief of losing both his mother and brother is weighing heavy on him.

She sits down on an outcropping of rock, mentally sighing in relief when Thor follows suit. "Hey, Thor, I know it's not really any of my business…" Jane starts hesitantly, then rethinks asking at all.

"What is it, Jane?" Despite everything, Thor is still patient.

"I heard what you are Loki were talking about on the boat."

"Jane." Thor's hand comes up to her cheek, his eyes worried. "You need not worry about that. I will find a way-"

Jane offers him a smile as she cuts him off. "That's not what I wanted to ask about." Although it makes her heart swell to know Thor is already thinking of ways to keep her with him. "Loki said he had a mortal lover? That his descendents were still royalty?"

There is a long pause. Thor's hand drops back by his side as he gathers his thoughts. Jane hopes that she is right, that by giving Thor a chance to talk about Loki he'll be able to channel some of his grief. They still need a way off this planet, but, well, Thor needs this as well.

But Thor doesn't answer. Jane shifts nervously beside him, calling herself an idiot. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it."

"No." Thor shakes his head. "Loki…Loki was not always so spiteful. There was a time when he loved to visit the rest of the nine realms, including Midgard. During one of those trips he fell in love with a mortal while wearing the disguise of Jacquetta of Luxembourg. We thought it just a passing fascination, but it was not until much later we realized it was more than that."

/

You guys have no idea how excited I am to be doing another history au. I'll talk more about my process in the next chapter notes if anyone is interested.


	2. Chapter 1: Jacquetta

I forgot to mention the last time, but beside the primary sources I've been using my main secondary source has been "The Women of the Cousin's War" by Philippa Gregory, David Baldwin, and Michael Jones. It's a really great read, so if you guys are interested in this subject I strongly recommend this book.

The more supernatural/magical aspects of this story have been heavily influenced by Philippa Gregory's "The Lady of the Rivers" and "The White Queen," both of which are excellent historical fictions.

**Chapter 1: Jacquetta**

_1430  
Burgundian France_

"You came back!" Jacquetta practically bounces out of bed, careful not to wake up the other young girl sleeping beside her. "You have been gone for nearly a year!"

Loki smiles at Jacquetta as the young fourteen year old jumps up to wrap her arms around her neck. Loki first approached her in the form of a young woman, knowing Jacquetta would be more trusting of a girl her age than a strange older man. She had felt it as soon as she had seen Jacquetta, the young girl's magical potential was astounding for a Midgardian. It probably helps that Jacquetta's family is descended from a goddess, and it only helped Jacquetta that she believed in the story. The thing most Midgardians are unaware of is their own ability to cast magic, they never took advantage of it. But every so often there is one born so attuned that they couldn't help using magic even if they try not to, and they were always so interesting. Loki couldn't help herself.

"I told you I would be gone for some time." Loki laughs softly and hugs her back. "Have you been practicing?"

"Yes." Jacquetta looks back to the other girl still sleeping in the bed.

"Worry not, she will not wake," Loki assures her. She leads Jacquetta over to the fireplace, skirt spreading out around her as she sinks to the floor. "Show me."

Jacquetta places her hands in Loki's, palms up. The girl takes a deep breath, gathering energy into her hands. Loki has been teaching Jacquetta how to grasp her magic for three years now, this warm up exercise is something Jacquetta mastered within the first month. So when she continuously falters Loki knows something is wrong.

Loki takes a deep breath and curls Jacquetta's hands into fists, holding them within her own. "Something is distracting you."

Jacquetta's head drops ever so slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Jacquetta, what is wrong?" Loki admits it only to herself, she is fond of Jacquetta, she cares for the mortal. She is Loki's first student after all.

"My uncle has captured the Maid."

"That young French girl who hears the voice of God and is determined to drive the English back across the channel?" Loki tries, and fails bitterly, to keep the contempt from her voice. Christians are strange people, and the overwhelming majority of them are hypocrites. As far as Loki is concerned anyone who claims their actions are God's will is insane.

Jacquetta gives Loki a dark look, her head tilting to the side as it does when she is annoyed. "I like her, Loki. She is my friend."

Loki stops herself from rolling her eyes. "That is a dangerous thing to say, Jacquetta. You must realize what is going to happen to her."

"Joan is safe here!" Jacquetta insists. "My great-aunt will not allow my uncle to hand her over to the English."

"The Demoiselle can only keep the English at bay for so long. Your uncle holds an ace for now, but he can only hold onto it for so long. Unless the French ransom your Joan, the English will find a way to take her. Luxembourg is a vessel of Burgundy, your family is caught between two of the most powerful forces in Europe." Loki squeezes the girl's hands a little tighter. "I know this is not what you want to hear, but you must be aware of what you face."

A heavy sigh escapes Jacquetta's lips and she slowly leans forward until her forehead is pressed against Loki's. "The French will ransom her. Charles cannot keep his throne without Joan. They have to ransom her."

"Just because it is what he should do, it does not mean he will do it. Prepare yourself."

/

_1431  
Rouen, France_

The next time Loki goes to visit Jacquetta he finds her in Rouen, the English stronghold in France. He knows exactly what that means. He shifts forms to the young girl Jacquetta knows her as and seeks her out, invisible to all but her student.

Jacquetta has slipped out of bed and is sitting beside the window, looking out over the square. It is dark, the pyre only barely visible in the flickering glow of torch light. "You were right," is all Jacquetta says when Loki comes up beside her.

"That does not mean I wished to be."

They stand in silence for a long while, Jacquetta leaning into Loki for comfort. "Can you stop the sun from rising?"

"I am afraid that is not how magic works, my dear."

"They are going to kill her, my friend, and I must be present for it. My great-aunt is dead, and my uncle has aligned us with the Duke of Bedford. The whole family must show our support of the Church's decision."

Loki sighs. "I cannot stop it."

"I know," Jacquetta whispers. "I know."

"Will it help if I stay beside you tomorrow? I must remain invisible, but I will be beside you." Loki really is too attached to this particular mortal.

"Please," Jacquetta answer immediately, her voice torn between grief and relief. "I cannot do this."

"You can, and you must," Loki says evenly. There is a reason Jacquetta leans on her.

"Don't go, Loki, please don't go."

"I'm right here, Jacquetta."

/

The pyre is huge. They have wetted the wood so it is slow to catch, drawing out the young woman's suffering. The smoke rises, but Loki can see her mouthing prayers. Even now when her god has abandoned her she still puts her faith in him. Loki does not understand Christians.

Loki leans against Jacquetta's shoulder, letting the girl know she is there. When Joan's head rolls toward her chest and she stills, seemingly in a peaceful sleep, Jacquetta reaches out, grasping Loki's hand. Loki squeezes her hand in return, another reassurance. Jacquetta does well, she does not cry, she stands tall and proud like the noble lady she is.

Loki's eyes scan the crowd. The jittering crowd is all too happy to watch the Maid burn. Loki finds the whole display disgusting.

But it is not the crowd that truly concerns Loki. Her eyes move towards the nobles, all standing straight and tall as Jacquetta. These are the people Jacquetta will have to navigate when she enters court, the sharks circling in the waters. They play a game Loki is used to, one she finds exciting, but she cannot help thinking Jacquetta will be chewed to bits. The girl is strong, but naïve, and as fast as Jacquetta learns, it may not be fast enough.

Loki's eyes linger on a man standing next to the Duke of Bedford. He is rather handsome for a Midgardian, with dark hair and sharp cheekbones. He is tall, not nearly as tall as Thor, but he still could stand out easily in a crowd. There is a softness to his face that one could easily assume to be kindness, but his eyes, dark brown and piercing, make Loki shiver. She knows the eyes of a warrior when she sees them, and the way the man stares at Jacquetta makes Loki feel as if he is staring right through her spell at her as well.

/

_January 1433_

It is two years before Loki has a chance to return to Midgard. He feels it immediately, the dreadful sense that something is wrong. Loki had sent Jacquetta a message that he would be able to see her tonight, but she had always waited for Loki in the safety of her own room. The twisting tornado of corrupted magic swirls around the grounds, tangling in with the roots of trees and flowers, snaking into the river's current. Loki knows whose magic it is, he knows all too well. He has been the one teaching Jacquetta ever since she was eight years old.

He rushes toward the core of the magic, barely remembering to shift his form before he comes into Jacquetta's view. She is splayed out on the grass, motionless, and for a moment Loki thinks she is dead already. "What have you done?" Loki asks, dropping to the ground and pulling Jacquetta into her arms. "Why are you even out here?" She has a moment of relief when she realizes Jacquetta is still breathing, but the girl in her arms is about to roll of the knife's edge.

"I-I am to be married," Jacquetta manages through clenched teeth.

"So you decided to try and kill yourself?" Loki snaps, holding the girl tighter. Her own teachers stressed the importance of limits to her long before they allowed her to start casting any spells. Loki had done the same with Jacquetta, but what she has forgotten is that Jacquetta is mortal. Her limits are lower than Loki's, but now she has overreached them. Loki has no idea how to help her. Jacquetta's magic will tear her insides apart, causing massive internal bleeding, before it starts attacking her mind.

"No." A violent shiver racks Jacquetta's body. "I just wanted to see – to see if I – I would be happy. You know my talent is foresight." She gives Loki a weak smile. "I went too far. I found only darkness, and now – now it is pulling me in."

"Jacquetta," Loki breathes out, burying her face against Jacquetta's coppery gold hair. "I am sorry. I have failed you as a teacher. This never would have happened if I had not interfered in your life."

"No! I would never give up my magic, I was never happier than during…during our lessons. Loki, I – I love my magic. I have called you…sis not out of dedica – tion, but love."

Loki sighs heavily, running her fingers through Jacquetta's hair. Too attached, she has allowed herself to become too attached. "Why are you out here?"

"The water." Jacquetta points to the river not more than a hundred feet away. "Melusina." Jacquetta's divine ancestor.

"All right," Loki says softly. "I'll take you there. It is the least I can do."

"Loki…"

Loki doesn't give Jacquetta a chance to protest. She picks her up with ease, revealing her strength. It is not as if hiding anything from Jacquetta matters now. Loki strides toward the water as Jacquetta begins to mumble. "I wanted a family, Loki. I wanted to – to teach my children as you taught me. I wanted love and – and happiness…a family. I would give them the best. Never had ambition for myself, but my children…my nonexistent children…" She trails off as Loki wades into the water.

"Melusina," Loki calls out to the river. "Your descendent is in need."

The water ripples and parts, a form of blue and green rising up. Melusina is naked, her bare breasts covered by tangles of dark hair. Scales begin to form around her waist, blue and shimmering, what little Loki can see above the water. The water goddess raises her arms, holding them out to receive Jacquetta. Loki takes a long moment, brushing back a lock of her hair, before reluctantly handing her over. "Can you do anything for her?"

Melusina shakes her head mournfully. Her own magic, the color of the ocean at night, washes over Jacquetta's body, easing her pain. "Beyond this there is nothing I can do for her," Melusina says. Her voice reminds Loki of a funeral dirge. Jacquetta struggles to say something but ends up choking on the words. "Shh, child," Melusina soothes. "Shh, you are safe now. I will not let you go."

Loki is powerless to do anything but watch as Jacquetta closes her eyes, her last breath leaving her body as a shuddering sigh. It has been a long time since Loki felt like a child, and she loathes being reminded of it in such a way. It is a moment, just a moment. It should not have been such a simple thing. Loki had seen warriors die in battle, but they gave up their lives willingly. Jacquetta was just a child, someone that Loki cared about. She hated this feeling.

"What will you do now?" Melusina asks, cradling Jacquetta's body.

"She wanted a life," Loki says, her mind quickly coming up with a plan. Mortals lives were short. It would take no time to repay Jacquetta, and it is the least Loki can do for her memory. "I can give that to her." Melsuina tilts her head to the side slightly in a silent question. "I can take her form, live her life for her. She did not want power for herself, but she wanted everything for her children. I can give her that."

"You will have to fool her friends, her family, everyone. She was to marry the Duke of Bedford in a few months time. Are you truly willing to submit yourself to a mortal's domination, to act as a proper English lady?"

It would not be difficult. Besides, Loki is used to the game of politics. It will be fun to play it on a new stage. "I can. I will give Jacquetta's child England itself."

"Your children," Melusina corrects. She leans forward, brushing her lips against Loki's forehead. Loki feels the rush of power, a new type of magic she has never had access to before, rushing into her veins. This is the power of the Midgardian gods, lesser deities who exist within their own aspects and not in other realms. It is strange, and exciting, and slightly terrifying. "I will lend you my powers while you call yourself Jacquetta. Honor my descent's memory. Write her name in history."

Melusina's body melts back into the water, taking Jacquetta's body with her. Loki stands in the river for a long time, until the sun starts to rise. She knows she has to return then. If she does not, Jacquetta will be missed. Loki takes a deep breath as she shifts form for a second time that night, dark hair taking on a golden red sheen, legs growing shorter, and already lithe fingers becoming even thinner. The only thing Loki cannot change is her eyes, forcing her to use an illusion to mimic Jacquetta's brown eyes.

Loki wraps her magic around her, transporting herself into Jacquetta's room. And so Loki takes on a mortal life.


End file.
